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Ebony Voices
May 18, 2004

It's Not Fat Folks' Fault

Ebony Voices
 
Ron has begun submitting articles & editorials for online publication at Ebony Voices.  We plan to make these documents available on Ron's website, since we cannot link you to his material on their site.


     “Umm.  I’ll take three Whoppers, three Classic burgers with cheese, a nine-piece bucket of extra crispy, white meat, two Big Macs with fries and a large vanilla shake.”
     “Would you like your order super-sized Mr. Barber?”
     “Uh, yes I would, but how did you know my name?”
     “Well you were here yesterday, and have been everyday since I started working here when I was 16.”
     “And you are 17 now?”
     “No sir.  I’m 39 now.  After 22 years, I could never forget a face or a body.  Would you like anything else, sir?”
     “Yes I would.  I’ll take two hot apple pies and one lawsuit to go please.”
     In what appears to be a capitalization of our recent fascination with America’s rampant obesity, four major fast food chains have been sued by an overweight customer.  Caesar Barber, a fast food customer for decades has filed a lawsuit against McDonald’s, Wendy’s, Burger King, and Kentucky Fried Chicken.
     Barber says he began eating fast foods in the 1950’s and believed it was good for him until his doctor told him otherwise.  Measuring 5’10” tall and weighing 272 pounds, the 56-year-old man has suffered heart attacks in 1996 and 1999, has diabetes, high blood pressure, and high cholesterol.  About the only thing he doesn’t appear to suffer from is high intelligence.
     This overweight lover of fast food claims the industry has wrecked his life.  He said he started eating it because it was cheap and efficient.  Then again, so are computers.  If his logic catches on, every poor person who lives a rushed lifestyle could join in the lawsuit.
     Wealthy overweight people like Oprah Winfrey, Rush Limbaugh, and Roseanne Barr can afford to eat anywhere and have it served anytime they want, which proves it’s not the price of the food one consumes, but the quantity and frequency one consumes.
     Was it the quick drive-up service at Wendy’s that facilitated his ability to get to Burger King in record time?  Was it the race car pit-stop efficiency at McDonald’s that allowed him to race to KFC?  Looking at Mr. Barber’s physique, it is obvious he was not taking advantage of the fast food industry’s efficiency to get to a gymnasium.
     If his doctor suggested an alternative diet, why and how did he become obese?  And if he didn’t follow his doctor’s recommendations, would it really matter what type of warnings the restaurant chains would have posted?
     Caesar Barber could become the poster child for every lazy, hamburger-loving, irresponsible adult in America.  Instead of including a child’s toy in fast food kiddie-meals, there could be adult or piggy meals with a toy to encourage customers to start a physical workout regimen or to at least not return for a second meal within a few days.
     If some people claim they cannot quit smoking and can sue the tobacco industry, or some can’t stop shoplifting because of the price or convenience, or others can’t stop gambling or doing drugs, and can file and win lawsuits, this obesity charge may have some merit.
     Fat chance, you say?
     I’m not a gambler, but one thing is for sure.  Should Mr. Barber win this lawsuit, he will certainly be able to afford two seats on Southwest Airlines.

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