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Ron Jackson's Perspective
The Sunday Journal
Kankakee, Illinois
May 18, 2008
Potty break may
prove profitable |
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Lawsuit leaves airline flushed
Talk about a crappy
experience. As with most things in society, this story may
reinforce your perception that air travel has gone to the toilet.
We have probably all heard of airline horror stories. From
lost luggage to delayed or canceled flights to flights without
blankets or horrible in-flight meals, most paying passengers could
write a chapter in the book about unsatisfactory airline service.
An entire book could be written about the annoying or unruly person
sitting next to you. A special chapter could be written about the
bratty kid who kicks the back of your seat for the entire flight
totally oblivious to the parent.
Whether in the air or on ground, when you pay for a service,
you should get that service. When you get something free, you
should appreciate it.
You usually get what you pay for. Truer words were never more
applicable than in the case of the airline passenger who was forced
to endure a few hours in-flight sitting in the plane’s lavatory.
That’s toilet when you’re on the ground.
It’s a funny, yet not so funny, story. A passenger on a
JetBlue Airline flight is suing the carrier for a lousy and
humiliating experience. While flying from New York to San Diego on
a “buddy pass” ticket, which is code word for freebie, Gokhan Mutlu
was instructed by airline personnel to give up his free seat to a
flight attendant. The flight attendant had found the designated
flight personnel jump seat to be uncomfortable and wanted to sit in
a regular padded passenger seat.
How a person becomes a flight attendant without the ability to
use the standard equipment is another story. What if the pilot felt
uncomfortable in his seat in the cockpit? Would he have flown the
plane from the cabin?
There was no way a paying passenger was going to be
inconvenienced. That left the free rider as the odd man out on the
full flight. Since the “jump seat” is designated for employees
only, the passenger’s request to switch seats with the flight
attendant was not allowed. The only other option was to sit on the
toilet for the remainder of the flight.
During the flight, which experienced some turbulence, the
return to your seats and fasten your seatbelts warning was issued.
However, there are no seatbelts on airline toilets. During this
period, the passenger claims his safety was in jeopardy.
Although the passenger was returned to his seat for the last
segment of the flight, he has decided to sue the airline for $2
million for endangering his life by requiring him to fly without
mandatory safety devices. It is possible he may win this case.
Sillier lawsuits have been won.
The $2 million does seem outrageous, though. I could see an
all-expense, first-class flight around the world or anywhere the
airline flies for the victim and a buddy as being fair
compensation. Speaking from a strictly man’s perspective, spending
a considerable amount of time on the toilet has never seemed as
dangerous or cruel. Then again, if this passenger had his quiet
time or fresh air disrupted during the flight by other passengers
without the benefit of oxygen, I think he should be compensated for
that.
Furthermore, Mr. Mutlu may have missed the in-flight movie,
been denied an air flotation seat in case of a water landing, and
there was no mention if he was given a newspaper or crossword puzzle
to kill time.
As with every lawsuit, even if the passenger doesn’t win, there
will be sweeping changes to the airline industry. For starters,
airlines will soon have to provide in writing that it reserves the
right to change a passenger’s seat during flight. A new ticket
class may be introduced. You may soon be able to choose from First
Class, Business Class, Economy, or Toilet Class. No window option
with the toilet seat ticket. Boarding procedures may also change.
Joining the First Class, elderly, handicapped, or adults with small
children, those with toilet seats could be allowed the pre-board
privilege.
This incident also gives a new meaning and value to the term
potty break. If a three-hour, in-flight potty break is worth $2
million, or $67,000 per hour, that makes your two 20-minute breaks
during your eight-hour work shift worth about $46,000. Employers
may start offering this as an extra benefit in lieu of health
benefits or vacation. Potty breaks could also become a new level of
taxable income.
Speaking of seatbelts on potty chairs, would that expedite the
potty training period for children, or would we have toddlers suing
parents for cruel and unusual punishment? |
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