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Ron Jackson's Perspective
The Sunday Journal -
Think
Kankakee, Illinois
July 17, 2005
We're safe right
here in little old Mayberry |
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Real terrorism is back in
the headlines. The recent bombings in London have proven that
while we may be able to enforce our form of government upon other
sovereign nations, we can't stop terrorists. We can't stop it
from coming to America again or from rearing its ugly head in the
land of our allies.
So, what's a common citizen to do? We can all
look for the safest and least likely place to be attacked and move
there.
According to a local source, the safest place in
America is Mayberry, USA.
Many of us may remember the sleepy little make-believe
town of Mayberry, North Carolina. The home of television's The
Andy Griffith Show, set in simpler times when everybody, if not
related, knew each other and everyone's business. That
Mayberry was a town with one barbershop, one jail and one sheriff
with one deputy who was only allowed to carry one bullet in his
belt. Unfortunately, that Mayberry was make-believe. It
was a production studio lot in Los Angeles, California.
My source fondly talks of a real Mayberry that existed
back in the 1950s and still exists right now.
While discussing the London bombings, he said that
terrorists only attack places with big populations and big-minded
people. They get the biggest bang for their buck. Well,
Mayberry will only give them a "pop" and not a bang.
Terrorists don't waste time and money on little things or little
people.
He went on to describe this Mayberry, at times in
endearing terms. He poignantly pointed out actual events that
have happened in Mayberry. Unlike the fictional Mayberry, he
said, "Everybody in the real Mayberry ain't happy. And a lot
of folks ain't got jobs."
My source described the real Mayberry as a place that
has never-ending problems with unemployment, drug addiction, teen
pregnancy, poverty and small-time politics. It is at least an
hour's drive from a major city. It may have value only to its
inhabitants, and if you brought something of value to Mayberry, its
value would immediately decrease. Outside its borders, it's
not perceived as being a viable contributor to the rest of the state
or country. It operates as an island, only understood and
appreciated by those born there.
"Man, the terrorists know that if they came to
Mayberry, they would be wasting their time cuz nobody would give a
dang about it. Nobody cares about Mayberry but Mayberry.
That's why it's so safe. The terrorists couldn't hide here,
either. Everybody in this place knows everybody. They
could spot a terrorist in a heartbeat," he went on.
As he talked more and more, I began to get an image of
this real Mayberry and a sense that I had actually been there.
Then he offered a few specifics. "What does
Mayberry have? It has a courthouse, a little bitty shopping
mall, low-paying jobs if you can find one, and too many folks here
with small-time mentality. The perception is that if it's in
Mayberry, it ain't worth much."
"Hey, you're talking about my home, Kankakee County!" I
finally caught on.
"No, I'm talking about your home and my home, Mayberry,
Illinois, USA," he endearingly corrected me.
"I like it here," I said.
"I like it here, too; it's safe here." He
laughed.
Welcome to Mayberry, y'all, the safest place in the
world. |
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